Animal I Have Become
by Alias-JoyLemmon
Summary: A request by DJChef7. Songfic of same name  Song by Three Days Grace . What happens when Jake feels likes he can't controlt he animal within? Starts of with JxB ends with JxL. BLACKWATER


**"Animal I Have Become"**

_Hey guys, this is a request for DJChef7. Starts of JakexBella, end with JakexLeah. Any more requests any of you have (especially songfics) just review any of my stories of PM me (through my profile - click on the toes in the corner)_

~/*\~

**I can't escape this hell  
So many times i've tried  
But i'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
**

I looked over at the gorgeous creature beside me. Bells and I had fallen asleep on the couch. She was sprawled out on top of me, her hair in a mess over my lap.

I felt the wolf within me awaken – urging me to lean down, to taste those rosebud lips, to mark her exposed skin as mine.

You'd think, after all this time, I'd be used to it.

You'd think I'd be used to this wolf-induced hell I knew as life.

I've tried so much to leave – to escape the wolf.

But it was as much as me as my smile was.

I'm still trapped.

_Trapped,_ the wolf inside me picked up. Instantly, it reacted, and I felt the familiar tingling of phasing coming over my body.

I got up, making sure Bella was still asleep and I raced out side.

Within moments of my bare feet touching the grass I exploded.

It was my worst nightmare come to life.

I can't control myself around her.

I can't control myself period.

I can't do this.

Not anymore.

Not to her.

**So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
(This animal, this animal)  
**

_Jake?_

Leah. Great.

_Jake, what's going on? Why aren't you with leeachlover?_

_HER NAME IS BELLA!_ I hollered.

I felt her wince. _Fine, whatever. Why aren't you with her, pining over her remnants?_

Before I could stop myself, the memory of what had happened sprang into my mind – and, so, into Leah's as well.

She chuckled darkly. _The dark side of Jacob Black. What an honour it is for me to witness this._

I try to shut her out – to stop my thoughts over my disgust of being a wolf ever come into her 'hearing'.

But I wasn't strong enough – not yet.

I heard her freeze as my latest 'thought' ran over into her head:

_No one will ever change this animal I have become._

**I can't escape myself  
(I can't escape myself)  
So many times i've lied  
(So many times i've lied)  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
**

I escaped her mental claws, but I can't escape myself.

I crouched down, crying.

I could hear Bella coming out to me.

"Jake? What's wrong?"

I looked at her, wildly.

"Jake?"

I stood up, not caring that I was naked.

"I lied," I whispered to her.

She froze – I can't be sure whether it was because she heard what I said or because of my nakedness.

"So many times," I growled out.

"Jake? Calm down. It's alright." She got out, but I could tell that she was scared – scared of me.

I felt the rage build up.

"The rage, Bella," I told her sadly.

I wasn't even making sense to myself.

"Rage? Jake, you're not angry. You're just stressed. Come inside – get some sleep. I've got to go home to Charlie anyway."

I shuddered, feeling myself shake.

_NO! I WILL NOT PHASE!_

"Jake?" She stepped closer

And I _growled_ at her.

Bella shouldn't be coming closer.

I can't control myself.

**So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
**

I ran away from her.

I phased midstep, crashing right into Leah.

_HELP ME!_ Cried at her. _HELP ME BELIEVE THIS ISN'T REAL!_ I pleaded with.

_Jake? _ Even she sounded confused.

_I'M NOT AN ANIMAL!_

_Jake, breathe, _Leah tried, but I was confused.

This wasn't right.

I couldn't tame the wolf inside me.

"JACOB!" I heard Bella yell for me.

My head whipped in her direction.

_Leah, help me! Help me tame him!_

**Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell  
**

_HELP ME!_

I was crying, even in my wolf form.

I can't control myself.

_HELP ME! HELP ME THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE! HELP ME WAKE UP!_

**(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)**

****I phased back, and Leah held me.

I was out of control. I was wild.

Leah kissed me then.

Kissed me with a passion I didn't know was in her.

And, much to my surprise, I kissed her back.

**So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
(This animal I have become) **

We broke apart and Leah slapped me.

"Wake up to yourself Black. This is you – wolf and all. You're the only one who can help you tame it. Get control of yourself!"

She went to storm off, but I grabbed her hand.

She whipped back around.

"Please?" I begged, almost silently. "Help me?"

She sighed and sat back down, and I hugged her, tight.

I felt her squeeze me back.

I looked back at her, and she kissed me again, as I cried. I couldn't handle myself – but with Leah, I really didn't need to – she was just like me.

She was also an animal.

She could help me tame this animal I had become.


End file.
